One can never define love objectively, for love is empirical. The only way that we can understand love is through observing, feeling, and experiencing it. Love cannot be based on theory and logic alone. It’s more than that.
We have already started to experience this notion of love from the very moment of our conception. And love continues to be clearer to us in our homes, through the help of our families. Naturally, it is our parents who teach and show us what love is, how it should be given, why it should be given, and most importantly why we deserve to receive it. It is in our families that we first learn how worthy we are to be loved. That is why if we fail to receive it from them, it becomes more difficult for us to realize our worth.
I grew up without a mom and a dad during the first years of my childhood. Love was introduced and taught to me by my grandpa and my nanny. They are the very persons whom I owe my understanding of love to and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My grandpa is a father of five, my mom his first. I am their first grandchild; that’s why grandma named me Genesis. Grandma died when I was three and I was the only one among their other grandchildren who had seen her. It was during those times when my dad never came back. After a year and so, my mom left too.
Grandpa, who I call Daddy Pid, loved me like his own child. He gave me all the things I asked from him — bicycle, chessboard, Barbie dolls, bags, shoes, clothes, cellular phones, you name it. I was really spoiled not just by tangible things but also by his unconditional love.
Daddy Pid worked hard for all his children and for me. I have witnessed how he stays up all night, finishing ledgers for the company he works for while accounting the expenses of the big family he takes care of. He handles everything all by himself. He doesn’t know that I have seen this because he’s the kind of father who never shows to his children that he is busy, that he is suffering, or that he is having a difficult time. You will always see him laugh and smile. The only time that you will see him sad or let out a frown is when you sneak up to him early in the morning or late at night while he sits alone at the kitchen, sipping coffee on one hand and reading a newspaper on the other.
Not long enough, I was not the only grandchild he had to support. My aunt, grandpa’s third child, bore two children with different fathers, who both left her. Her first child had autism, the second one survived from almost being aborted. That aunt of mine was rebellious. She did not finish her studies. She had a lot of vices. She had handful of affairs, had no job, and had a long list of debts. She occasionally leaves her children behind. Despite all the disappointment she brings, Daddy Pid never gave up on her. He never even laid a hand on her. That was one of the many ways I have learned what love is from Daddy Pid.
Daddy Pid is my grandpa, my grandma, my dad, and my mom in one. I cannot even comprehend how he manages to survive everything, how he is able to put up with my aunt, how he is able to sustain us all, and how he loves so selflessly. Never have I heard a single complaint from him. Never have I seen him cry. Oh wait, I did see him cry once. He shed a tear when I graduated in college about two years ago. I hugged him tight, told him that I wouldn’t have done it without him and that I love him so much. He was laughing when he answered I love you too, but he failed to hide that tear he was trying to hold back.
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As I’ve said, love was introduced and taught to me not just by my grandpa but by my nanny as well. She was already our house helper even before I was born. Ate Merly, as I call her, was the very person who has proven to me that blood is not thicker than water, for love defies both. When love is real, it knows no condition, no boundaries and no norm.
She raised me well, like I was her own. Without doubt, she knows me more than any person in my family. Her love was real for I felt it so. Even without her getting paid, I am confident that she will still love me the same. I know that because there were times when my family had financial difficulty and cannot pay Ate Merly anymore. Instead of leaving us, she searched for a second job and worked during the day while I was at school. There were even times that she gives me money, buys me clothes, takes me to dates like any mother does. Until now, now that I am able and all grown up, she still gives me anything that she can offer.
When my parents left me, I had all the right reasons to define love as an illusion, to refuse to receive love and to believe that I am not worthy of love. When they left me, I had the option to hate the world and to hate love. But God did not allow that to happen. He has shown me the real meaning of love through Daddy Pid and Ate Merly.
And He also did it for you. He has shown you the real meaning of love. Maybe you have not seen it yet or you merely refuse to see it. Maybe you have trapped yourself in feeling false scarcity—that despite being loved, you continually convince yourself that you lack or have not received the kind of love you deserve.
It took me a long time to realize that I did not fall short of real love because I was too fixated on my own standards of love. Today, I challenge you to remove the chains inside your heart that is separating you from seeing the truth that you are loved. Stop trying to see love with your eyes and try to understand with your heart. It may also take time, but I assure you that when you finally reach that glorious moment of understanding, you will just thank God for the gift of real love He has given us all.
