When someone we love dies, a part of us dies with the person. Our heart won’t be able to recover that fast. Even the smallest and simplest things can become hurtful and can make us sensitive. It could get overwhelming that it leaves us feeling empty.
So when someone you love grieves and you’re lost with what to say or do, please…
1. Stay. Death steals so much in a person. When they feel they’d lost all that they had, it’s hard to fight for what’s left. Every moment is a battle. A day is a long road of unexpected tears, and short moments of calmness. Having you beside them gives them a stronghold to help them survive the shake.
2. Wipe away their tears. Catch them like the falling rain. When they feel that the universe is conspiring to hurt them, this will remind them that somewhere, somehow, in ways that they may not see now, they are held and kept safe.
3. Let them rest on your shoulder. Give them the rest that so many people had taken for granted. Allow them to take a break and not have anything on their mind.
4. Cry. Cry with them. Let the tears coming from your pure and genuine love warm their hearts. This is when they need sympathy the most. It will help them realize that what they’re going through is normal. Crying everything out is both cathartic and therapeutic.
5. Appreciate them when they smile. Because it will mostly be forced now, but soon, their smiles will become more and more genuine so encourage it.
6. Pray for them and with them. Death is difficult to comprehend. The sky limits the vision, and there are so many hanging questions about where to go from here. Help them to entrust everything to God even when cluelessness seem to cloud their views of Him.
7. Be patient with them. When it becomes hard to love and it takes time to heal. When the tears won’t stop and painting dark clouds becomes routine. When they can’t stop telling stories of memories or painful dreams. Please be patient. They will need you now more than ever.
Know that it will not last. Storms eventually calm. Nothing makes us more human than watching someone’s world fall apart and being part of building it once more. Nothing makes us more of a person than helping others with their burdens so they could take and surrender it to the cross.
