Having lived in a different country for the past 10 years, it has surely become my home. The cleanliness, the hot and chilly weather, my family, my youth group- it became my comfort zone. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but here. But I guess God had other plans.
September of 2016, my mom told me that I’ll be going to return to the Philippines to continue my studies. For others, it’s okay and would take it lightly- it’s a norm for students in the Middle East to go back to the Philippines right after high school to continue college and further studies.
But for me, it was hard news to wrap my head around because I was so sure that I was going to continue my studies in the UAE. Seeing all the negative news that’s being associated with the country and the lifestyle, all that went in my mind was fear and doubt. I doubted and questioned the Lord’s plan in my life. My prayers were filled with “Why give me assurance then break it, Lord?”
The day came when I had to return and start my life here. My heart was heavy. The same feeling of fear and doubt are still in my head, and my prayers are still filled with the same questions. The moment we landed, I knew it was back to square one– new people, new environment. Each day that passed made me miss of “home” even more.
Months passed, and I was able to find my youth group and I was back to serving once again. I believe it was during one of our worships during a youth camp where the Lord finally gave His answer to my questions– I am here simply because He wants to pull me out of my so called “comfort zone” and instead find comfort in Him.
This whole time I failed to realize that He didn’t throw me in a wasteland. He brought me to a paradise where I can be a source of love to those who need it the most.
The Lord used the uncertainties that surrounded me as an answer. I didn’t realize that the more I was surrounded by negativities, I was leaning more on Him in my prayers. He reassured me that no matter where I go, my call to love and be prayerful never stops.
Where I am now is where the Lord wants me to be, and that assurance is more than enough for me.
