A father’s love builds security in his daughter. His time, attention, care and affirmation shapes confidence, assurance and character of his daughter.
My admiration for my Papa became more meaningful when I was able to understand his works of being a father and a husband to my mama. It was in high school when I had series of family-related seminars that eventually led me to closely relate to my family. His way of pursuing my mother through gifts, time and words of affirmation. His hard work in bringing food to our table, and the joy he gives with his jokes build the foundation of our family. Over the years, these are some of the most valuable lessons I learned from him that molded a huge part of me:
- Hard work surpasses circumstances
My father was a working student since grade school. His parents could not afford to send him to school, so there was a time that he needed to pause his education. However, his realities wasn’t a hindrance for him to persevere. At a young age, he worked as early as three in the morning and will go straight to his school. In college, he works as a tricycle driver during his free time and a security guard at night. He did this until he finishes his undergraduate study, and even when he became a father. Papa raised us without self reservation. Just pure love and hard work all for providing for our needs.
- Accept the things you cannot change
When my mother died, I can hardly see any tears rolling down from my father’s eyes. But I know he cries in silence when he is alone. The pain of losing someone is real and tangible, and so is moving forward. But despite the pain, he chose to divert his focus on us by randomly talking about mama. It helped him slowly accept her death.
- Know your priorities
A part of me is wondering why he chose not to remarry. “Only time can tell” will always be his response to this kind of question. And that right now, his responsibility of looking after our well-being comes first above anything else.
- Pride in Humility
I was able to experience the traditional spanking or “palo”. But what astonishes me is the sincere apology and explanation of his way of disciplining us. His discipline was an act of tough love, and his words secured that love. Up until this very moment, my stubbornness is silenced by his humility.
- Beauty of Discernment
My father may not be aware, but he unconsciously teaches me to decide with wisdom. He is far from a strict parent. He chose to show his trust and support by letting me decide on my own. He knows it will help me grow. However, he never skips laying down the possibilities and realities that are greatly helpful in my decision-making.
I’m always in awe of the fact that for most of his life, he never had parents with him, never had the rich merits, but truly it is grace that gives him exactly what it takes to raise us beautifully and wonderfully. He may not always find the right words to say, but he knows what we need and what he needed to do. Indeed, a piece of ourselves buried in our mother’s grave. But with God’s grace poured through my father, he became our light and pillar. We never felt lost, and we are whole and secured even during the dark days of our lives.
