Caution: Before you love

There are so many things that you can do out of impulsiveness, thus the term “YOLO” (you only live once) was coined.

 

However, there are also things that you have to really prepare for. Most of the time, these things are the most important. And one of these is loving others. Loving others must not be among your “YOLO” moments because you do not only love once.

 

Before you love, you have to be prepared and may these three important steps help you in doing so.

 

 

Before you love, forgive.

Forgive all the people who pledged promises but broke it when reality hits. Forgive those who have hurt you. They are as human as you. They are as imperfect, fragile, and insecure as you. You’ve been wounded, but those scars will heal with time. You’ll be stronger, and you’ll know better.

 

Forgive them because you need to forgive yourself. Forgive because you deserve peace. And if you still think you don’t deserve it, just remember, if God has forgiven you, why can’t you forgive yourself?

 

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Before you love, love yourself.

Love your crooked teeth, your straight As and average grades, and your chubby knees. Your habit of making a joke at awkward moments, your addiction for anything with Harry Potter, your degree that your parents disapproved of but you enjoyed wholeheartedly nonetheless. We’re not perfect, and thus, you, just like everyone else, can be better every day.

 

Love your imperfect flawed self. You are beautiful, worthy, adequate, and most of all, loved. Stop undervaluing yourself. Your worth is not based on being perfect in all aspects of your life; you have worth because you are a child of God, and He made you with a purpose. Never let a person define your worth, nor let it validate you. It is okay to wait for love. In fact, it is courageous.

 

You matter.

If you forget, remember, God loves you.
The people in your life love you.
You are loved by the source of unconditional love.

 

 

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And finally, before you love, be brave.

I know you may have been hurt or you think you don’t deserve the kind of love you wish for. So embrace sadness, but don’t drench yourself with it. Just try to be better again tomorrow. If not, try to be better for the next thirty minutes, the next hour, then the next day, and so forth.

 

Yes, love is patient, kind, and everything that 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 encompasses. But I think, besides that and among other things, love is also a choice. Decide to love in spite of everything life throws at you. Love when you feel it, and mean it. Love, even when it’s difficult because you are angry or hurt. Love, even when they refuse or think they don’t deserve to be loved.

 

There may be things we’ve gone through and wished never happened, but the truth is this: there will come time that we will become the sum of our great and worse choices. So choose bravely and wisely. You don’t have to wait for a magical relationship to be loved and love the way you want to. Instead, foster that love for yourself and the people who are in your life now. Choose to not give up on yourself, on your heart. Revel the in-between. It gets better.

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