To the one whose midnights become afternoons
Hello Love!
You may be wondering how you made it with the bouts of anxiety, overthinking, self-harm episodes, panic attacks, and defeat you are having. Well, you did. You made it. But not without battle scars and bruises to the heart. You made it because you were strong. You made it because you are His warrior. And though you won’t survive without being wounded, there are a few things I want you to remember, love.
It Wasn’t Your Fault.
All those things you had no control over weren’t your fault. Stop blaming yourself. Stop imprisoning yourself in guilt. Some things had to happen. And even though it left you with sleepless night thinking about your self-worth or crying on the bathroom floor thinking of dirty and unworthy you are, it led you to become the strong warrior that you are. You are loved despite and despite that. No part of your past will ever determine the state of your beautiful future. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Never Seek Validation from Others.
You are more than enough. You don’t need to seek validation from the number of reactions you get on Facebook or the number of retweets and likes, and followers on Twitter and Instagram. You don’t have to bare your body for the world to see or bathe yourself in glutathione, papaya scrubs, whitening lotions, or take massive amounts of those awful-tasting sienna tea leaves. Your worth is not measured by the number of people who think you’re beautiful, intelligent, hourglass-shaped, or impressive based on the world’s standards. You are you. And you were fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who thinks you rule the world with your beauty and grace. (Psalm 139)
The Length of Time You Know Someone Doesn’t Measure How Much You Know Who They Are.
Just because you’ve known someone long doesn’t mean you know who they are. And just because you’ve learned or been friends with that guy for a long time doesn’t mean he could be the one and wouldn’t hurt you. Someone you just met on a bus might be more genuine than that friend you’ve had for years. Time does not measure how much you know someone. Sometimes, we don’t even know ourselves, and that’s okay. Life is a never-ending process of learning and knowing ourselves and others.
Trust In God’s Perfect Timing.
You could be struggling now but know that God has a perfect time for everything, even if it means delayed graduation or taking people away from your life. You’re gonna get a lot of those “not nows” and “waits” from our Father because He has planned everything out for you, even to the most minute details. So don’t worry about sudden redirections or moments where you feel lost. Those are His plans taking over. Have faith and keep going, love. Every wrong turn will eventually lead you back to where you were meant to be.
It’s Okay Not to Be Okay.
It is love. We all have those days when we feel nothing could ever improve. Those days when sulking in your bed is the best idea. But smiling and pretending you’re fine will not make it any better. Cry if you have to. Embrace your sadness and your grief and your brokenness, love. Whatever you feel is entirely valid. Tell the people closest to you what you feel and that you may need professional help. Though prayers can help, there are things that you need to heal from that need the right doctor’s prescriptions. Not every day is supposed to be perfect, love. We all fall. We all have our secret battles to fight. It’s okay. it is in our most vulnerable state that we feel His warm embrace and love the most.
Alone Doesn’t Always Mean Lonely.
Sometimes when you are alone, you get to see the beauty surrounding you. Sometimes when you are alone, the Lord speaks to you and gives you those little “kilig” moments you’ve been longing for with Him. You can be isolated and still be together with our Father. You can be alone and still be happy while appreciating the quietness and calm. You can be alone and not be lonely.
Don’t Look for Love in All the Wrong Places.
You don’t need a boyfriend to feel loved. Don’t be pressured to look for one just because everyone else has one. Take your time in knowing and loving yourself first, love. Take your time to appreciate the most beautiful things about you. Take your time in feeling the love that comes from your mom and dad’s embrace, the “kilig” you feel from God’s surprises and words, or the happiness you get from your little brother’s unexpected kisses and hugs. You don’t need a boyfriend, love. The love you get from your family, from your friends, from our First Love in Heaven is more than enough.
Everything Will Be Fine.
It will be. It may seem hopeless now, but I assure you, love, you will make it. You will be okay. And one day, you will look back and pat yourself because you did it. You conquered your Goliaths. You’ve torn down walls. Your faith became more robust.
My love, I leave with these parting words. I am proud of you. I always was and always will be. You will become the person that will make you proud. You will become the person you’ve always wanted to be – a strong, prayerful, Godly woman. You will be great, love. Have faith in His promises.
With love (and prayers),
You
